I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
