i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
