my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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