were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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