Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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