I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
