My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
