I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
