Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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