I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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