hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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