my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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