I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
