I showed him my bush... on skype.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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