you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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