so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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