Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
