im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
