i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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