i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
