i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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