YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize