I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
