i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
