You smell like stripper and shame
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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