this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
