their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just google imaged poop.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He did a backflip because drugs
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
