I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
