Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
