There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
