i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
try to milk me bitch
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