please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
