sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
