I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
