well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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