You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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