Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
