So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
