I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
