He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
