so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
