we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
