Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
