i jhust puked up my retainher.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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