where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
