Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
