I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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