you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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