I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
high people should be assigned attendants
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
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