Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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