I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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