hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
