i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Hippo gnu deer
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
