my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize