she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
