wrigley field is MILF paradise
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
