I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Randomize
