i jhust puked up my retainher.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
The adults are the big ones right?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
