Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
