Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
