Sponge bath it is.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
