Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
