Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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