Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize