You're so nebulous sometimes
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
