so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
