youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
