I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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