i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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