She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
