Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
